D and I just got back from a family cruise (I'll share some photos soon!) where we had no reception for A WEEK; no phone for a week was disarming and weird but also kind of nice. Naturally, I had some time to reflect and think about what I want out of 2017. Resolutions can be kind of corny, I get it, but I got really into making goals and lists last year and I want to keep that up.
I want to focus on being a little more selfish ( "YOU CAN CALL ME SELFISH, BUT ALL I WANT IS YOUR LOVE") when it comes to self care this year and beyond. I want to get my hair done on occasion or buy a perfume I've been lusting after, take more bubble baths and treat my skin like a queen. I want to make more connections with new people and go to more yoga classes. I think I want to make this a priority because I want to ultimately be more selfless in my marriage. Here's why...
I started Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari recently and there's this early excerpt where Aziz sites a psychotherapist, Esther Perel, about what we now expect out of our relationships and it really struck me.
It says: Marriage was an economic institution in which you were given a partnership for life in terms of children and social status and succession and companionship. But now we want our partner to still give us all these things, but in addition I want you to be my best friend and my trusted confidant and my passionate lover to boot, and we live twice as long. So we come to one person, and we basically are asking them to give us what once an entire village used to provide: Give me belonging, give me identity, give me continuity, but give me transcendence and mystery and awe all in one. Give me comfort, give me edge. Give me novelty, give me familiarity. Give me predictability, give me surprise. And we think it's a given, and you and lingerie are going to save us with that.
This made me think dang, I do expect all those things out of my partner but also, is that really fair or healthy? I want us both to be happy, fulfilled and thriving people on our own. I want our relationship to feel easy as often as possible. I feel like finding ways to be more complete as separate people will strengthen our partnership. We kind of already started doing this more towards the end of last year but I'm really excited to do this more, wholeheartedly and with intention, for us.
Okay, okay more resolutions of the typical sort:
- TRAVEL MORE: D and I booked our trip to Spain (also hitting up Paris and London!) this year and have plans to see NYC, Boston, Florida, St. Louis and possibly a music festival in Tennessee.
- HOST A PARTY: hosting makes me crazy anxious so this is more about conquering a fear (but also being with friends) than anything. I've thought about Oscars but do I have enough time to prepare?!! Maybe a birthday or a "just because" kind of shindig.
- MEET MORE AUSTIN BABES: there are so many amazing/talented/inspiring ladies here in Austin I follow that I must meet this year. It's happening. I need some of their magic unicorn dust to rub off or just admire IRL!
- KEEP UP THE HOUSE PROJECTS: some big ones are on the horizon this year: new floors upstairs, our master bedroom (paint and wall decor) and possibly new kitchen countertops! Need to finish a few rooms too.
- FITNESS/CLEAN FOOD: this one is mainly about keeping this routine up; keep it a priority.
****Also, I'm v into bodysuits now. I used to be sooooo terrified of them because I knew they'd show EVERYTHING. But 2016 was about getting healthier and loving my body and I do, especially in a body suit! This black off the shoulder one I just found at Target and it's surprisingly super comfy.****