I've been wanting to write more about health & wellness since I devote so much time and energy to it in real life. But there's been a recent shift I have to be honest about, I've been obsessing over the negatives. I know I've shared when I was working out daily, lifting weights and eating super clean and feeling overall like a rockstar but I want to share my struggles too.
I plateaued on my fitness goals a couple months back and I'll be honest it deflated me. I started looking at where my body was in terms of weight and strength and feeling hella disappointed that somehow no matter how hard I tried it seemed like the universe was saying "this is your best you, sorry about your luck!" and I took it real hard. I ate poorly and exercised less. I'd obsess over style bloggers and Instagram celebs with model bodies while sinking further and further into a pit - you know the one. Scrolling thru feeds while the jealously consumed me.
I thought why does it matter what I do if I can never get to "GOALS" with my body anyway? My clothes are the same size they've always been and my lower abdomen pudge must be destined to be apart of me forever and ever and ever.
A couple of weeks ago, though, I had a photoshoot with Luella for their summer collection and a combination of the lady bonding, playing dress-up, the support we gave each other and seeing the final photos gave me this renewed confidence that was palpable. After feeling so good at this shoot that celebrated girl power and sisterhood, I started to realize that I don't have to hate my body to want to change it, I can feel good in it and appreciate it but also want to improve it. I've been wasting too much time comparing myself and despairing over some random ideal of what my body should look like and not enough time being happy in it or feeling grateful for all it does for me. I had to look thru someone else's lens, quite literally, in order to appreciate my body as it is now.
I know there's a lot of talk about self-love lately and I know I'm guilty of not giving myself enough bubble baths and manicures (both things I mention in earnest because they make me feel damn good) but I'm finding a more impactful self-love practice for me lately to be about emphatically appreciating my physical body and resisting lamenting what I don't look like. Talking about positive self talk, folks and lots of it.
Currently, I have a new, chill workout routine that I know I can commit to time-wise (20 mins!) and that targets areas I'd like to see improve. I mix in yoga because it makes me feel centered and quiet. Talking about moving my body in a good, loving way that doesn't stress me out. As far as food, I'm still eating vegetarian, drinking nutrient rich shakes in the mornings and eating minimal bread and dairy. Healthy snacks include roasted almonds, raw red bell pepper and hummus with rice crackers. Dave and I do loosen up on weekends though for balance.
I'm finding myself happier with my body these days and more accepting of where I am at. Hope someone can relate to this and finds it a teeny bit helpful. Body image may always be a struggle for me but I'm feeling more content these days and that's a win!
Thank you for reading!